I'm fully aware that my obsession/passion isn't going to change the world. I'm not gonna find the cure to any deadly disease or bring world peace or world famine. On the level of what I'm doing for the greater good of mankind I know I've not got a lot to contribute. But maybe for those that do stumble across my creations, for 20 minutes or so I can give them a break from the stress and pressure of things and bring a little sparkle of happiness in there. As Paul Calf once said, "It may just be a Caramac wrapper in a bag o'shite, but it's there!"
For 15 years I thought caricatures were my passion. I still love to sketch people and let them see themselves from a different perspective and make them smile. And I always thought that I'd catch a break or make an opportunity for myself that would allow me to pack in the day job. But I always did that with an element of fear. I always felt like I was chasing an opportunity that was just out of reach.
That fear has been carried over into my paper toy creations for the last couple of years. What style should I draw in? What theme should I follow? How do I pitch them on Etsy? Do I send my work in to publishers? The focus has always been on what I've not done yet and never on what I've achieved. I've chased the idea that my paper toys will let me give up the day, I can see that with more time that it will happen. But I've always wanted it to happen now! What's the formula to get me outta here!?!
Well I've decided not to chase anymore. It's too much effort and makes me grumpy! I don't want to achieve escaping my day job through fear and obsession. If that's my perspective then that is what I'll attract. So why not change my attitude, why not relax a little and use my legendary sense of humour to attract forces, feelings and people who share my passion.
I wish I'd found this epiphany earlier, but then it's not something that can be bottled and sold in a shop. It's learnt through experience and error and failure. I know I'll continue to make more and more mistakes, but it's the only way I'll learn and grow and develop and one day (soon!) I'll have to give up my day job because my passion is a genuine, authentic and jolly ride for people to join me on!
Maybe it will come with a graphic design job I've recently applied for, maybe it will be in a few months when my Halloween paper toys are complete. Maybe it will be the experiences of those things and everything else that reveal a new path to follow. All I know for now is that my passion for creating and sharing papertoys is what I'm here for and I am choosing to create them with heart, humour and integrity.
Oh and here's some pictures of my last papertoy project, all 32 of the little footballing buggers!